Another Mountain

Zilla has been diagnosed for several years now and every single day is a new day with a new hurdle. Some days that hurdle is tiny and barely even registers and other days that 'hurdle' is really a huge mountain. Today's mountain is school related.

Zilla's school years started off pretty rough and that's actually how I came to recognize that Zilla needed to be evaluated. One of the teachers at his private Pre-K recognized that he didn't make eye contact and he was having a lot of problems engaging and a whole list of other things that she pointed out to me. I'm sure I would have realized that my son was "different" at some point but luckily a wonderful teacher caught it. Early prevention is beyond important for a whole host of reasons and my little monkey was diagnosed before he even entered the public school system which really proved useful for us.

Kindergarten was really really rough. There isn't any other way to describe it and honestly even thinking about that year makes me want to cry so just suffice it to say we'll leave it at that. First grade was a huge turnaround year for us and second grade continued in that same way. Luckily for us Zilla has been blessed with soooo many awesome teachers and school staff that we were able to make it through to the preset. Without them I don't know where Zilla would be academically. Even though I think this year we may have the best teacher yet, recently Zilla has been going through some problems and seems to be regressing a bit emotionally/behaviourally. Everything scares him and he has wanted more help doing things he knows how to do.

We always have his IEP meeting in December and this time we all decided that it was time to do away with the behavior plan because he'd been doing so well. I guess maybe we should have thought twice about doing that. Since December I've been called at work a handful of times because my sweet boy is freaking out and causing a distraction for the other students. Today he did something he's never really done - he threw things at one of the staff that was trying to work with him while screaming his head off. They had to clear the classroom so that everyone else could actually work and learn.

What has silent tears streaming down my face is that while she was telling me what was happening she mentioned that all the rest of the students "did really well and even just stepped over or around him when he was on the floor and in their way" and this was a positive statement. I know logically that it's a good thing that Zilla's classmates were able to work around him up to a point but the mother in me just wants to burst out in huge fat ugly tears with the thought that they have to get used to my son and things he does. At some point (and I'm guessing this is coming soon) the kids are going to stop being understanding and start being mean to my sweetface. I know it's coming and that Mountain sure looks Mt Everest sized to me.